Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
