its not stalking. its research.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
