They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
