for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
