Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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