Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
