i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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