Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
