Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
