Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you win again, gameday.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
