Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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