headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
