i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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