super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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