she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
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I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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