you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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