I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
