maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
