There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
