low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
