i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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