I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize