just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
