if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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