I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
