Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think my moral compass just broke
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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