Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
