i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The power of my boobs compel you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize