It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
