Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
