Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
