I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
