i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
