I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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