Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
