I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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