my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
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