just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
there is puke in my bra ... again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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