I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
