If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
