Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
