i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
