I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
