dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
