Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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