operation harelip BJ is a go
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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