bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
