Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
