I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Panties = found
tell me about the eggs
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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