Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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