I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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