wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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