The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize