Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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