At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
