I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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