so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize