You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
