school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
