I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
