it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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