watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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