Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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