this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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