Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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