11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
