I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
