Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
