how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
