when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize