Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
